Snippets of Pat and Andy's Daily Diary Conversations

I can't share them all, but I can share a couple of typical phone conversations, sometimes these conversations involve a lot of surprised laughter on my part:

Pat: "Hello?"

Andy: "Bueno"

Pat: "Bueno...what's up?"

Andy: "I've got that whole Kramer thing at 3 today"

Pat: "You're going to crazy hair at 3?"

Andy: "Indeed, I am going to crazy hair in ku ku land at 3"

Pat: "Good luck with that - not to be confused with the ku ku though right?"

Andy: "oh no, no, no...whole different kind of crazy."

Pat: "Right, okay...what about the old dude?"

Andy: "I know I said 'is that old dude there? Anybody but the crazy? and they said 'no, only the crazy today' - so I'm stuck with that nonsense."

Pat: "Crap."

Andy: "right...."

Pat: "okay...let me know how that goes"

Andy: "K, bye, I'll call you later"


~.!~.!~.!~.! (different conversation, different day)

Pat: "Hey"

Andy: "Hey - calling to make a complaint here"

Pat: "Shoot"

Andy: "Is this the complaint department?"

Pat: "If you're calling it that, then it is."

Andy: "well I'm calling it that and I need to make a complaint"

Pat: "what is the nature of your complaint Ma'am?"

Andy: "I would like to make an official complaint about the calibre of 'tards working at Fry's".

Pat: "You're calling to make a 'tard complaint?!"

Andy: "Yes!"

Pat: "Go Ahead"

Andy: "The 'tards aren't same level of 'tard as they are at Celebrity Safeway and I think that's just wrong - I don't want to be forced to shop at the more expensive Celebrity Safeway just so I can get a decent bagger to load me up."

Pat: "So specifically there's a bad 'tard at Fry's?"

Andy: " I just had a bunch of groceries ruined up in there and they have really bad tard management and somehow Celebrity Safeway, probably because their customers won't tolerate that nonsense, has not a 'hire any handicap' policy, but a 'hire a non-jacked up handicap' policy and I would really like it if Fry's would adopt that policy as well so I could keep shopping at the cheaper store."

Pat: "Maybe it's cheaper because of policies like that - it might be more expensive to hire the higher quality 'tards right? With vocations skills and all? You maybe have to pay them more right?"

Andy: "I know...and God love 'em and all but.....DAMN.

Pat: "I know. Complaint Duly Registered."

Andy: "K - bye"