Psychobables

a conversation between Pat and Andy (Shando & Bandanamom):

P: Shando? I was thinking that we should do a blog on your most embarassing moment - I've been trying to get to that for a while. Do you have one?

A: My life is an embarassing moment so it's hard to isolate one...

P: Like what?

A: I don't know. I constantly have my foot in my mouth does that count? I have permanent foot in mouth disease.

P: Is that an equine disease?

A: A WHAT?

P: It was a joke...you know, like 'hoof and mouth'?

A: Are you calling me a HORSE?

P: Dude. Chill, I am not calling you horse...though with your nostrils flaring like that...

A: You are going to make me look like a jerk again in this blog aren't you?

P: No, I am just trying to give the people what they want - I am just trying to give them a little taste of the Shando I experience everyday...

A: I don't think people want to taste that really...

P: So...No specific embarassing moment just a general sense of embarassment on a regular basis?

A: Let me think about it minute.......hey did you I tell you about Quadra boob and her dumb dork of a husband?

P: No. I did not realize Quadra Boob was still around. In fact, I sort of forgot about her. Do you realize you have nicknames for almost everyone? Do you have a nickname for me?

A: No...not really. I don't have nicknames for that many people.

P: Uh...yeah you do.

A: Like who?

P: Dumb & Dumber, Quadra Boob, Hitler, & Her Hair (otherwise known as "the dish")...any of this starting to sound familiar?

A: Everyone does that.

P: Sometimes I think we should start a little Shando thesauras to figure out who you are talking about when you use these names. I should start a list.

A: Okay start a list...I'll try to remember my names for people.

The following is an non-comprehensive list:

The Mute
Picasso
The Irish Travelers
Queen of Sheeba
Grandma
The Sister Wives
Tweedly Dee with the Mini Keg
Tsunami
Brother Sushi
Gorilla Baby
Potato Baby
Satan (which is used to refer to at least two seperate people)
The Mad Cows
Hot Topic
The Hanger-On-Er
The Donald
Catholic Kyle
Evita
Princess
Super Dave
Stretch

P: You know, when I look at that list I have to say that the vast majority of those people did not get those nicknames by getting on your good side - with the possible exception of Super Dave and Stretch. Most of the time you create a nickname when you have a specific sort of irritation for a person. Which is kind of interesting. Why do you think you do that?

A: Is this going to be one of those analyze Shannon conversations?

P: Not exactly... I just think it's interesting. Because the process does seem rather organic when you come up with these names and it does seem that you...

A: Because if it's going to be one of those conversations I can come up with a nickname for you really quick if you want...

P: Oh...okay what's that?

A: Psychobable.

P: Uh...so what did you want to tell me about Quadraboob?