Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Little Miss Sunshine - Laughed So Hard She Almost Urinated

Transcript of a conversation between Pat & Andy regarding Andy's favorite movies

P: So I'm thinking of doing a blog on your movie likes and dislikes...

A: Yeah?

P: I did a blog on mine.

A: Yeah?

P: You couldn't care less, I can tell...and I can tell you're eating - what is it carrots?

A: Why would you say that?

P: When you get bored with what I'm saying you start chomping on something like you're bugs bunny.

A: I do not!

P: Ya do.

A: Sometimes I eat when I'm on the phone because...I don't know, because...

P: Because that's what you do when you're bored?

A: Maybe

P: Okay so what movies do you like?

A: I don't know I'd have to ask Austin and he isn't here right now.

P: Are you kidding?!

A: Well I know I did NOT like that mamma mia movie!

P: We've established that. How can you not know what movies you like?

A: I TOLD you I have alzheimers. I can't remember any!

P: Well what about providing an opinion on the movies I like.

A: Ok what are they? If it's a bunch of that foreign and independent crap you know I won't have an opinion.

P: Well, I think you've seen most of these.

A: Shoot.

P: The graduate

A: Never really watched it...seemed boring.

P: Are you serious? Please tell me you aren't serious.

A: I don't know I might have seen parts of it but...I never liked all that hippy simon and garfunkle crap from the 60s.

P: Oh my gosh. I'm not even going to get into this with you, let's move about Amelie.

A: Yeah...hate to admit it, but never really watched it.

P: What? After I told you how awesome it was and one of my favorite movies?

A: Yeah...never got around to it.

P: Wait...I even let you guys borrow it...

A: Never watched it...just gave it back when it seemed an appropriate amount of time had passed.

P: But I had a whole conversation with Tony about that movie - I'm pretty sure he watched it!

A: Maybe but I think I fell asleep as soon as I realized they were going to be speaking french for 2 hours.

P: Gads.

A: Onward and Upwards I say...

P: Geez...okay what about Muriel's Wedding.

A: Never heard of it.

P: We just talked about this movie and how it was WAY better than momma mia! Remember that conversation.

A: Didn't know what you were talking about...just agreeing to be agreeable. Look anything has got to be better than momma mia.

P: Oh my gosh. I'm getting seriously irritated with you - we've had conversations about a lot of these movies.

A: Well you conversated about them and I listened.

P: Conversated huh? Is that a word I'm unfamiliar with or did that come out the George W. Bush thesaurus?

A: Moving on...

P: Okay I think it's safe to assume you never saw My Life as a Dog or Christ Stopped at Eboli.

A: Safe to assume

P: What about Falling in Love?

A: Nope. Meryl Streep kinda bugs.

P: Are you serious?

A: She bugs.

P: How can you say that? She's incredibly talented and nuanced and fabulous to watch almost always!

A: She bugs. She looks European or something and I don't get what the fuss is about.

P: Okay what about Grosse Point Blank or Say Anything?

A: I liked Say Anything...Grosse Point...sorry I just don't love it.

P: did you like it at least?

A: Look I heard it was about a hit man and there was shooting in that movie and I didn't want to watch it.

P: Do you realize that you only ever want to watch romantic comedies? That's it, you almost never like anything else.

A: That's not true.

P: It's absolutely true. What are your favorite movies?

A: Love Story, Pretty Woman, Knotting Hill, Music & Lyrics, 16 Candles, Sex in the City, Monsoon Wedding.

P: I rest my case.

A: No wait! But I do like one movie that is not a romantic comedy!

P: What is it?

A: Little Miss Sunshine. That might honestly be my favorite movie. And you made me go to that and it was at that art house theatre in Scottsdale so I was all worried...

P: Does it always make you worry when I make you go there?

A: Well sometimes they end up being about Poland or someone's lesbian british summer or whatever or Owen Wilson stumbling around India with a big nose...

P: Gads. Be nice to him - he almost committed suicide after he made that movie

A: Well, it's true! But this is one time that I was pleasantly surprised. It was awesome. I laugh so hard I thought I'd pee.

P: Okay so I guess I'll put that on the blog "Little Miss Sunshine - Laughed So Hard She Almost Pee'd".

A: Yeah I don't care go ahead and put it. But maybe leave off that bit about the Sex and the City movie.

P: Should I also leave off the bit about how you saw it three times (that I know of, at LEAST) and how it makes you CRY?

A: Yeah...please leave that off - sometimes people from church read that thing and I don't want everyone thinking I'm marching off to an R rated movie every Saturday afternoon so I can stare at Big and have a good cry - which you know that I NEVER cry.

P: Okay...I still a little annoyed that you wouldn't see any of the movies I've recommended to you over the years...even when I lent you the movie. What about Lost in Translation? That's a love story!

A: Yeah...I don't know...I got bored. It was too quiet and they were in Japan for pete's sake. Not very romantic. Reminds me of foreign exchange students from Japan.


A: Never mind. Just you know, I couldn't finish it.

P: I seem to distinctly recall you told me that you did in fact like it.

A: Yeah well...sometimes I say stuff just to placate you. Anyway....
I gotta go - but you're not going to put all this on the blog right?

P: Uh...yeah.

A: K Bye

P: Bye

sometimes I say stuff just to placate her though