Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Little Miss Sunshine - Laughed So Hard She Almost Urinated

Transcript of a conversation between Pat & Andy regarding Andy's favorite movies

P: So I'm thinking of doing a blog on your movie likes and dislikes...

A: Yeah?

P: I did a blog on mine.

A: Yeah?

P: You couldn't care less, I can tell...and I can tell you're eating - what is it carrots?

A: Why would you say that?

P: When you get bored with what I'm saying you start chomping on something like you're bugs bunny.

A: I do not!

P: Ya do.

A: Sometimes I eat when I'm on the phone because...I don't know, because...

P: Because that's what you do when you're bored?

A: Maybe

P: Okay so what movies do you like?

A: I don't know I'd have to ask Austin and he isn't here right now.

P: Are you kidding?!

A: Well I know I did NOT like that mamma mia movie!

P: We've established that. How can you not know what movies you like?

A: I TOLD you I have alzheimers. I can't remember any!

P: Well what about providing an opinion on the movies I like.

A: Ok what are they? If it's a bunch of that foreign and independent crap you know I won't have an opinion.

P: Well, I think you've seen most of these.

A: Shoot.

P: The graduate

A: Never really watched it...seemed boring.

P: Are you serious? Please tell me you aren't serious.

A: I don't know I might have seen parts of it but...I never liked all that hippy simon and garfunkle crap from the 60s.

P: Oh my gosh. I'm not even going to get into this with you, let's move about Amelie.

A: Yeah...hate to admit it, but never really watched it.

P: What? After I told you how awesome it was and one of my favorite movies?

A: Yeah...never got around to it.

P: Wait...I even let you guys borrow it...

A: Never watched it...just gave it back when it seemed an appropriate amount of time had passed.

P: But I had a whole conversation with Tony about that movie - I'm pretty sure he watched it!

A: Maybe but I think I fell asleep as soon as I realized they were going to be speaking french for 2 hours.

P: Gads.

A: Onward and Upwards I say...

P: Geez...okay what about Muriel's Wedding.

A: Never heard of it.

P: We just talked about this movie and how it was WAY better than momma mia! Remember that conversation.

A: Didn't know what you were talking about...just agreeing to be agreeable. Look anything has got to be better than momma mia.

P: Oh my gosh. I'm getting seriously irritated with you - we've had conversations about a lot of these movies.

A: Well you conversated about them and I listened.

P: Conversated huh? Is that a word I'm unfamiliar with or did that come out the George W. Bush thesaurus?

A: Moving on...

P: Okay I think it's safe to assume you never saw My Life as a Dog or Christ Stopped at Eboli.

A: Safe to assume

P: What about Falling in Love?

A: Nope. Meryl Streep kinda bugs.

P: Are you serious?

A: She bugs.

P: How can you say that? She's incredibly talented and nuanced and fabulous to watch almost always!

A: She bugs. She looks European or something and I don't get what the fuss is about.

P: Okay what about Grosse Point Blank or Say Anything?

A: I liked Say Anything...Grosse Point...sorry I just don't love it.

P: did you like it at least?

A: Look I heard it was about a hit man and there was shooting in that movie and I didn't want to watch it.

P: Do you realize that you only ever want to watch romantic comedies? That's it, you almost never like anything else.

A: That's not true.

P: It's absolutely true. What are your favorite movies?

A: Love Story, Pretty Woman, Knotting Hill, Music & Lyrics, 16 Candles, Sex in the City, Monsoon Wedding.

P: I rest my case.

A: No wait! But I do like one movie that is not a romantic comedy!

P: What is it?

A: Little Miss Sunshine. That might honestly be my favorite movie. And you made me go to that and it was at that art house theatre in Scottsdale so I was all worried...

P: Does it always make you worry when I make you go there?

A: Well sometimes they end up being about Poland or someone's lesbian british summer or whatever or Owen Wilson stumbling around India with a big nose...

P: Gads. Be nice to him - he almost committed suicide after he made that movie

A: Well, it's true! But this is one time that I was pleasantly surprised. It was awesome. I laugh so hard I thought I'd pee.

P: Okay so I guess I'll put that on the blog "Little Miss Sunshine - Laughed So Hard She Almost Pee'd".

A: Yeah I don't care go ahead and put it. But maybe leave off that bit about the Sex and the City movie.

P: Should I also leave off the bit about how you saw it three times (that I know of, at LEAST) and how it makes you CRY?

A: Yeah...please leave that off - sometimes people from church read that thing and I don't want everyone thinking I'm marching off to an R rated movie every Saturday afternoon so I can stare at Big and have a good cry - which you know that I NEVER cry.

P: Okay...I still a little annoyed that you wouldn't see any of the movies I've recommended to you over the years...even when I lent you the movie. What about Lost in Translation? That's a love story!

A: Yeah...I don't know...I got bored. It was too quiet and they were in Japan for pete's sake. Not very romantic. Reminds me of foreign exchange students from Japan.


A: Never mind. Just you know, I couldn't finish it.

P: I seem to distinctly recall you told me that you did in fact like it.

A: Yeah well...sometimes I say stuff just to placate you. Anyway....
I gotta go - but you're not going to put all this on the blog right?

P: Uh...yeah.

A: K Bye

P: Bye

sometimes I say stuff just to placate her though


Suzanne Barker said...

I love the way you write your conversations! I can just hear both of you when I read it. It's a hoot!

Cynthia said...

ok, did you like Ferris Bueller's Day Off? A classic, I tell you.
I keep borrowed movies for an appropriate amount of time too, whether I watch them or not. Even Netflix. When one comes in the mail and I realize I may not want to watch it anymore, I still keep it for a couple of days just in case.
When your new blog entry is hightlighted on my reader menu, it makes my day. Really. The WHOLE ENTIRE day!

Shando said...

Thank you Cynthia for your constant admiration but as always, credit must be given to Pat!

Rachel said...

you guys are great! I agree with Cynthia! You totally make my day!!! If it matters any we say Sunshine too and thought it was great!!! It was a while ago after Andy was released as EQ prez and before the HPQ! I can't wait till he gets released from HPQ I got a few movies lined up to watch!!!