Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Shando Rando

You know the thing where you go to and you type in the answer to the really basic questions and then you post the answers as photos? Well I thought that would be easy for Shando. Well, not easy for Shando because Shando never really has to do anything at all. But easy for me to do for Shando. But let me back up a minute...

Everyone once in a while Shando says things like "you need to get on writing me a new blog". Or, "There's been no new entry on my blog for a while you need to get on that". Or, "people who read that blog think I don't wear any clothes! You need to fix that, I don't walk around the house completely naked!" Or, "I like beards too." To which I say "What?" and she says "Beards, I like beards on that list thingy on the blog? Beards." Or she says "I'm coming up with a list thing for that blog." to which I say "Okay what is it?" to which she says "I'm workin on it."

So I thought it would be easy - ask her the questions and then just type in the answers "poof" we have a new blog entry.

Not exactly.

What follow is our Q & A along with the appropriate deviant art.

L: Shannon, I know the answers to some of these questions but let me ask you real quick some of the ones I'm not sure of...

S: Okay...hey don't make me look like a dork.

L: Why would I make you look like a dork?

S. Because I might be a dork, I don't know! Just don't make it seem like it.

L: Favorite Candy

S: I have to pick one?

L: yeah just pick one.

S: Chocolate.

L: that...I mean, can you be more specific? There's a pretty know snickers, mounds, etc.

S: that's JUNKED up chocolate. I'm a purist. Chocolate. Preferably Godiva.

L: Okay , Who's your celebrity crush?

S. Duh, Hugh Grant.

L: Okay, I am just making sure. Sometimes you talk about George Clooney.

S: George Clooney is hot.

L: Okay so is it George Clooney or Hugh Grant?

S: Both.

L: No, you have to pick one.

S: Why?

L: Nevermind, it's Hugh Grant. Moving on...favorite movie?

S: I don't know.

L: Well, just, you know one you can watch over and over.

S: I might look like a dork.

L: You can't look like dork just because you like a specific movie.

S: Okay, probably...Notting Hill.

L: Okay...

S: (interupting me OR)

L: No, it's Notting Hill, next, favorite color?

S: Depends

L: What do you mean it depends?

S: Sometimes it's Red, sometimes it's Black

L: Black? How can your favorite color be black?

S: Because black is clean and like rain.

L: Rain?

S: Yeah. But Red I guess. Or black. Red and Black

L: (at this point I realize she does not understand the concept of picking just one at all)
Okay...How about your favorite tv show?

S: I'll look like a dork.

L: No you won't, what is it?

S: John and Kate plus 8. But that's because I have that crush on that John guy. But that sounds dumb. Celebrity Rehab! I love that show.

L: So...John and Kate plus 8 sounds dumb but Celebrity Rehab is...

S: Celebrity Rehab.

L: ok...Band or person you listened to most recently?

S: I don't know.

L: What do you mean you don't know?

S: I don't know. I listened to Barry Mannilow the other day but he got annoying.

L: Okay so Barry Mannilow...

S: No! That will sound stupid. Ummmm what do I like?

L: I don't know, I'm never around when you're listening to music...

S: (calls out to Austin "what music do I like?"...Bread..Yah but you broke my Bread cd...who? Yeah I like Josh Grobin...I like John Mayer right?) [comes back on the phone] John Mayer.

L: okay (now I'm laughing)


L: Because you are such a gold. You are so task oriented it's ridiculous.

S: I'm task oriented because I like John Mayer?

L: No, you're task oriented because you've never even thought about half these things and have to ask someone else to find out your opinion.

S: Just ask the questions.

L: What's your favorite time of day.

S: .....depends....

L: How can that depend? You don't just know right off which is your favorite? What time of day do you look forward too? What time of day do you look outside and think "this is my favorite time of day" - for example I like dusk. What time of day do you like Shando?

S: It depends I like early morning but not if I'm tired. I like night, but like late - like midnight.

L: Shan, you're always asleep by midnight...

S: That's the point. I like night if I'm asleep.

L: But how can you enjoy that time of day? You aren't reallly there...

S: What? Yes I am, I'm HAPPY because I'm sleeping. Just put it!

L: Alright! Geez! What's your relationship status...okay, I know "married"...

S: What you want me to say "old and tired and married!"?

L: (roll eyes)

S: What's next?

L: favortie disney character?

S: Old School Micky. But not old funked up Mickey!

L: What the heck is that???

S: You know that steamboat willy crap.

L: oh, so just regular Mickey.

S: Yeah, except you know, like "classic" Micky or whatever, not junked up Mickey.

L: What the heck is junked up Mickey.

S: I don't know! I just like him regular - but not like that "classic pooh crap" I hate that S***!

L: Okay so we have a strong opinion about our Disney Character. Hmmm..

S: Don't try to psychoanalyze that either...

L: Is that where I make guesses that your enjoyment of all things Disney might have been tainted by relatives of yours who love it a little too much?

S: Don't even go there. I can't stand that S***. It drives me nuts!

L: Okay sorry. What kind of pets do you have Shannon?

S: A big black dog and a bunch of cats, one named 'halo' in particular who is about to find a new home.

L: Oh, did you find someone to take him?

S: No, he's about to be escorted to his new home at the humane society.

L: Okay - don't try that driving him across town thing because that never works when just let them out of the car - they always end up coming back worse for the wear and resenting you.

S: Shut up.

L: Brand of Clothes or shoes your'e wearing?

S: I'm not wearing shoes and I don't know what these clothes are...

L: Look at the label...

S: I don't know it's Nordstroms brand I think.

L: Like their housebrand 'Caslon'?

S: Is that what it is? Are you sure? I don't know.

L: Okay dream vacation

S: Somewhere cool and a massage. I just want cool windy weather or something. Cool and a Massage. That's pretty simple right?

L: okay that's not going to work, I'll end up getting a photo of a massage or a cool guy getting a massage or something.

S: Fine by me. Even better.

L: (sigh). Okay. What word describes your personality?

S: Tired.

L: No, your personality. "tired" isn't a personality trait it's a symptom.

S: Then I have symptoms. I'm Tired!

L: So that's what you want me to put? You want me to put tired!?

S: Just put it!

L: OK ......the other question is easy so, well there's two questions I guess that I think I kinda know.

S. it doesn't exactly sound like you know.

L: okay shan - what's your favorite dessert? Chocolate Cake right.

S: The proper type of Chocolate Cake...any cake if it's proper, chocolate being the best usually.

L: ok, so like I said, Chocolate Cake.

S. But I don't want a picture of the wrong kind of chocolate cake.

L: I'll do my best. (insert eye roll here)

S: What's the other question.

L: Favorite food.

S: I guess mexican.

L: You guess? Again, how can you not know that? Just, you know, it's your favorite food, maybe it's changed over the years or whatever perplex me.

S: Look, I like mexican food but I don't ONLY like mexican food so it seems silly to have to pick, I like Indian Food too.

L. So...mexican food it is right?

S: quit being a psycho, mexican.

L: Okay Shando I think we've done our work here. and I managed to work in that you don't parade about completely naked.

S: No I don't, there are always some sorts of something - it all just very loose and mumu like.

L: Okay and I guess I can add a ps than another of her favorite things is her husbands beard.

S: ANY beard.

L: ANY beard? gross.

S; Well not ANY beard. A lot of beards. proper beards.

L: Okay and that combined with the aforementioned love of the band Bread leads us back to the 70s and the hippies correct?

S: I don't think I'm really a hippy.

L: Let me ask you a serious question. If you could go live somewhere with a bunch of other people you genuinely liked, have big gardens, eat the food from those gardens, help watch each other kids, have a big fire at night and sit around and shoot the bull - AND you get to wear loose fitting clothes, maybe even birkenstocks. How does that sound?

S: Do I have to watch other people's kids?

L: No, only if you want to - if you want to be the head garden person and boss people around a bit in a nice way, you can have that job.

S: That sounds nice.

L: That might be a commune.

S: People might bug me though.

L: I already established that it's people you like.

S: Right, but I like my family and they bug me.

L: Okay but I still say that you just might be a hippy.

S: Do communes still exist?

L: Yeah, several of the big ones do - some of the onest that were started in the 60s/70s are still doing their thing.

S: Cool.

L: Do you want to go live there?

S: I like to keep my options open.

L: My work here is done. Talk to you later.